I found this advice in an old cookbook and thought I would share it. It’s called, How to Preserve a Husband.
Be careful in your selection. Do not choose too young and take only such varieties as have been reared in a good, moral atmosphere.
When once decided upon and selected, let that part remain forever settled and give your entire thought to preparation for domestic use.
Some insist on keeping them in a pickle, while others are constantly getting them in hot water.
Even poor varieties maybe sweet, tender, and good by garnishing them with patience, well-sweetened with smiles, and flavored with kisses. Then wrap well in a mantle of charity. Keep warm with a steady fire of domestic devotion and serve with the fruits of constant devotion and milk of kindness.
When thus prepared, they will keep for years. I hope this gets desired results, which is to help women who have them to keep them and those who don’t have them to get them and keep them well preserved.