I found this inside one of my antique cookbooks and thought I’d share it. It starts out about making a cake, but it is really about this woman’s day with her kids.
To make a cake, light the oven. Get out utensils and ingredients. Remove blocks and toy autos from table. Grease pan. Crack nuts. Measure 2 cups of flour. Remove Johnny’s hands from flour and wash flour off him. Remeasure flour.
Put flour, baking powder, and salt in sifter. Get dustpan and brush up pieces of bowl Johnny knocked onto floor. Get another bowl. Answer the doorbell. Return to kitchen. Remove Johnny’s hands from bowl. Wash Johnny. Answer phone. Return. Remove 1/4 inch of salt from greased pan. Look for Johnny. Grease another pan. Answer phone.
Return to kitchen. Remove Johnny’s hands from bowl. Wash bowl. Take up greased pan and find layer of nut shells in it. Head for Johnny, who flees, knocking bowl off table. Wash kitchen floor, table, walls, and dishes. Call baker. Lie down.
I hope you found this amusing.